Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life.
Dr. Sue Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" -- our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival. Love Sense covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more. Based on groundbreaking research, Love Sense will change the way we think about love
Can you Relate?
Does the idea of love confuse the hell out of you? Do you struggle to understand your partner? Do the two of you often find yourselves having the same blow-ups? Has the honeymoon phase worn off and now everything your partner does bugs the hell out of you?
Love Sense aligns with the Connection area of focus of the Evimero Couples Framework. It provides a foundational understanding of attachment theory, which helps couples develop deeper connections with each other.
Tools for Growth
Attachment theory is centered on the emotional bond that people have with each other and how our earliest attachments dictate how we are or aren’t able to connect with each other. In Love Sense, Dr. Sue Johnson builds on attachment theory to demonstrate how it applies to our concept of love with our partner. She explores how the three main attachment styles, Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant, impact our relationships and ultimately help us answer the question of our partner - “are you there for me?”
As for the tools for growth in Love Sense, at the end of each chapter, the book has what Johnson calls “Experiments.” These experiments are activities that will help you illuminate the concepts from each chapter. Some of these experiments are to be done individually. For example, at the end of chapter 2, you spend some time wrestling with your own attachment style, and what events from your childhood caused that style within you. Other experiments are to be done as a couple. At the end of the chapter on understanding how our brain reacts to our partner, couples are encouraged to set aside 30 minutes for this exercise. You are to stand face to face and synchronize your breathing. Then you go back and forth with each partner taking the lead while the other follows. Once done, you are to debrief on how it felt to “tune into” each other this way.
The Experiments in Love Sense are some of the best exercises in any book we’ve reviewed here at Evimero Couples. Sue Johnson has years of experience in this field and has captured the best of the best in her material. These Experiments will allow you and your partner to grow in your understanding of attachment theory and how it applies to your own relationship. The Experiments will help you and your partner have conversations about your connection that may be long overdue. If you both can engage in this process, the potential for growth from Love Sense can revolutionize your relationship.
Worth your Time?
If you’ve never heard of the term “attachment theory,” please pick up a copy of Love Sense. There are other books out there that cover the same topic (Attached), but we believe Love Sense is the best out there. It will help you understand when and why you ultimately feel safe and secure with your partner. And probably more importantly, when and why you don’t. There was once a time when we just thought the game of love was won by chance. Some people were good at the game, and others weren’t. In Love Sense, Sue Johnson demystifies that idea and helps anyone that is confused by the game of love better understand it to develop healthier longer-lasting relationships.