Codependent No More
Melody Beattie provides a compassionate and insightful look into codependency—the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another. This book has helped millions of readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins.
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More helps you to break old patterns, maintain healthy boundaries, and say no to unhealthy relationships. It offers a clear and achievable path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.
This ground-breaking book is even more relevant today, as readers confront new, urgent challenges with greater self-awareness, than it was when it first entered the national conversation over 35 years ago.
Detailed Review
Can you Relate?
Is someone else’s problem your problem?
Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner’s needs? Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes demands on your time and energy? Do you constantly worry about others’ opinions of you? Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
Could codependency be preventing you from having a deep connection with your partner?
Framework Alignment
Codependent No More aligns with the Core area of focus of the Evimero Couples Framework, specifically focusing on the category of Identity/Self-Esteem. It will help you understand how codependency can impact your ability to have a healthy connection with your partner.
Tools for Growth
This book contains two primary sections. In the first section the author paints the picture of codependency. In the second section, Beattie shares a comprehensive set of 16 self-care practices to support you on your journey of healing from codependency. Each chapter focuses on one self-care technique…what it is, why it’s important, and how to apply it. This book provides a clear path to understanding and healing.
We recommend that each person independently reads one chapter and answers the reflection questions at the end of the chapter. Then we recommend coming together as a couple to discuss your takeaways from the chapter and share responses to your reflection questions. Following this process will allow you to 1) gain an understanding of codependency and reflect independently on how you show up in your relationship, 2) create the space for open, honest communication. As you work through each chapter, mindfully create a safe space for your partner to be vulnerable, as vulnerability is one of the key components in a healthy, loving, thriving partnership. Use this book as an opportunity to heal your core, and to support your partner in healing theirs. As you work to heal your core, you will start to show up in healthier ways in your relationship. And as you work through this process together, you increase your capacity for deep, lasting, intimate, connection with your partner.
Worth your Time?
In 2009, Newsweek named Codependent No More one of the four most essential self-help books of all time…for everyone…because most people have codependent tendencies but aren’t aware of this reality.
If you often find yourself in relationships where you are trying to “fix” someone, or living inside the chaos of someone else’s problems, or are frustrated when someone doesn’t do what you want them to do…then this book would be worth your time. This book is about understanding why you have those tendencies. It’s about understanding how your good intentions to help others are sometimes the very things that hurt them and you. It’s about taking care of yourself. It is about setting healthy boundaries. This book holds the key to understanding codependency and moving beyond the hold it has on your life and on your relationships.
About the Expert(s)
Melody Beattie
